but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
