what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Randomize