I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize