just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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