bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
