she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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