Your tits are I can't wait for
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
