You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
