Did you just see the Batmobile???
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
