since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
