it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
