It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
