Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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