My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
