Redeem this text for a blowjob
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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