Quick, to the slutcave!
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
