the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
