how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
