This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
