I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
This house was built for laser tag.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
