super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize