before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
