She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
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