I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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