I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
