Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize