This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Randomize
