Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
