can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
he quoted the bible to break up with me
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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