Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
