i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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