Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
