i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
high people should be assigned attendants
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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