is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
