I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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