I'm jealous of your bromance
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
