that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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