I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
