If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
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