Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
