the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
there is glitter all over my balls
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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