...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
