we're blogging at a bar
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
