But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
