dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
