How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
