Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
