By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize