I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
