I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
