I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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