Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
