In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
