i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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