Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
