Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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