I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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