im so drunk with asians
where?
always
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
