I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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