you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
