If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
