and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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