how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
