she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
