If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
she told me i tasted like america
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
