i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
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