been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
