He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
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