are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
