Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
