Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
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