i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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