i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
