i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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