You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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