just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
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