I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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