You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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