if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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